Philosophy of life... by tgchan


Wow...I would never say I will start my own blog...WTF -_-'

Anyways I'll treat it like my life journal so I can remember how f*cked up life I was leading (hopefully I will be more happy in future...)

For those who read my journal: as you have noticed (or not) I am adding some youtube music clips. Basically this is the music I am listening to while writing the new posts. This is the music I love, this is the music which helps me write everything straight from my mind/heart.

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Posted by tgchan on July 2, 2012 at 1:30 PM Comments comments (0)


Finally after a year I have gathered enough motivation and will to update this site and add some new content... I hope you will enjoy it!

Being lazy is really exhausting... :D

what's next?

Posted by tgchan on June 10, 2011 at 7:43 PM Comments comments (0)

Since December 26, 2006 my life has changed...

Finally I had a goal in life and the confidence in what I am doing...

After all these years I am forced to semi-retire from my gaming career which has never really started...

Due to lack of any gaming success(no proper people to play with/no team/no personal achievements) I am all b...

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thx all for nice feedback

Posted by tgchan on May 9, 2011 at 1:20 PM Comments comments (0)

Thank you all for some nice words and appreciation.

Unfortunately I have stopped updating my site some time ago. I am thinking of coming back, maybe some youtube channel or something but it will consume lots of my time which I spend currently for gaming :/ so I am not sure yet.

Anyways I am still here, still not sure where I am heading... ;)

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Posted by tgchan on January 13, 2011 at 8:49 PM Comments comments (0)

I have lost motivation to write new things here. Nobody give a shit anyways.

I have quit CS:S and moved to CS. Formed the team of people with whom I can play a lot.

Am I happy now? No. I wake up only to wait for training so I can play with team; problems, problems and problems... always something on my way. I have lost job (not because of me) and now I have to l...

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loop till you puke

Posted by tgchan on October 19, 2010 at 3:27 PM Comments comments (0)

Long time since I have updated my journal...

First of all I would like to say sorry to all people I have hurt recently, especially guys from steam.

Sometimes I just can't stand reality so much I have to " turn myself off ", be alone etc.

I hate wh...

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Obsessive?compulsive disorder

Posted by tgchan on September 13, 2010 at 2:47 PM Comments comments (0)

Obsessive–compulsive disorder... + a lil bit of mysophobia.

This is what I got (for sure)...and many more I bet lol

Few weeks ago I was watching again " Matchstick Men " movie, it is really great.

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Posted by tgchan on August 16, 2010 at 8:54 AM Comments comments (0)

I feel that I am extremely  intelligent...

I can read people like an open book,

I can see angles nobody else can see,

I can adjust to every situation immediately,

I can get into someones mind and know how they feel, what they think,

I can foresee react...

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back to css or css came back to me?

Posted by tgchan on August 5, 2010 at 6:17 PM Comments comments (0)

I am back to css again. It is not the same comeback as in the past. I just play some dm and 2vs2 on esl with my friend. Nothing serious, no more any dreams involved...

I am sh1t and I want be better and better, get good team and do as much as I can but it is not like in old times anymore... I don't play dm for hours, I don't force myself to play sh1t mixes just to get better...

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Posted by tgchan on August 1, 2010 at 9:27 AM Comments comments (0)

I am losing it all the way now...

I can't even say what is wrong but I can feel it... I can feel that I am totally dead.

Is it because I gave up on my dream ? Is it because wherever I go I can't find the place for myself ? Why do I see everything in black now ?

Omfg what the fuck is happ...

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Posted by tgchan on July 28, 2010 at 11:01 AM Comments comments (0)

I really miss a good friend. The friend with who I could play same game, share fun, talk about random things etc. just a normal stuff I guess...

I felt really ok for few past days; I really enjoyed the gaming etc. but yesterday around 3am something has changed... so suddenly it almost felt liek punch.

I think I can't...

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extreme gaming in extreme temperatures...

Posted by tgchan on July 17, 2010 at 6:07 AM Comments comments (0)

It is so fcking hot that I am sweating my ass off just sitting around... that is bad for gaming... I'm telling you...

Today I will level up to 80lv with my rogue ( took me exactly 31days without being exping wh0re. I just enjoyed the game )

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Posted by tgchan on June 29, 2010 at 10:14 PM Comments comments (0)

(It is 4:26am)

Because of the WoW servrer maintenance I wasn't able to play but I have watched another incredible fcking great movie instead.

A movie which is a pure art. The movie that will twist your brain and force to think about your existence and many other things...

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Posted by tgchan on June 28, 2010 at 9:16 AM Comments comments (0)

So finally I got what I wanted... This is how my day looks now:

- I wake up around 1 pm

- I make 50 push ups then 66 sit ups

- hoover my room/ mouse pad, keyboard etc. (one of my psychological problem)

- play on guitar for couple of minutes (I wasted money for it so I have to play on it for at least few minutes eve...

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Posted by tgchan on June 21, 2010 at 1:18 PM Comments comments (0)

Few days ago my brother bought me a WoW pack. I would never buy/play this game but since it was a b-day gift I had to give it a try...

I was always againts wow;

- too complicated

- you have to pay monthly for it

- too much stuff to learn

- game for noob...

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Posted by tgchan on June 6, 2010 at 3:53 PM Comments comments (0)

Depression is eating me alive.

Sometimes I have to go to sleep just to stop thinking because I feel like my head will explode.

I can't find place for myself... there any...?

I have so much free time, I have so much dedication and discipline in mys...

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Posted by tgchan on May 28, 2010 at 5:36 PM Comments comments (0)

And I am messing with my settings again...

My team is barely active... All I do is aim/dm servers all the time...

Small crosshair is really not my thing... I was barely making 2/1 KPD most of the time with it.

Still looking for the settings which will makes me feel confident during the game. So far LARGE is doing pretty good....

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new design

Posted by tgchan on May 27, 2010 at 10:20 AM Comments comments (0)

I was damn tired of the old site, I had to change it. I hope you liek it. There is also a new page called "Ask me" go check it out for more info.

Still playing & still dreaming about big things ^^, nothing really interesting going on atm.

back again

Posted by tgchan on May 15, 2010 at 7:44 AM Comments comments (0)

Being without a team sucks so much... I really don't wanna feel that again...

Few days ago my friend asked me if I don't wanan play with them again (team unified), I have answered YES without any doubt.

Before my friend's offer I was hopping to play with some UK team but it looks liek they don't give a shit about me anymo...

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being no one

Posted by tgchan on May 10, 2010 at 7:13 AM Comments comments (0)

Being no one is more exhausting than I thought...

Everything looks pointless, I don't wanna wake up because I know there is nothing waiting for me out there...

I look at people, their photos, their life... I feel like I am falling deeper and deeper...

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long hard road out of hell

Posted by tgchan on May 7, 2010 at 2:04 PM Comments comments (0)

I am so fucking pissed I can barely control myself...

Last weekend when I was playing cs:s I let my anger go of few times, I yelled so loud I have damaged my vocal cords or something... My voice has been changed for almost 6 days and I could barely speak because of sore throat. I still have a cough...

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